If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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