I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
