I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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