That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
should my penis look like a turkey
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
