my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
