Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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