Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
