i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
