Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
