Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you will always have a special place in my vag
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize