let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
