kristin has been a bad kristin
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
