Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
