i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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