Pappa wants mamma naked
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
