The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize