I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
