If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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