I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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