I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just gargled with NyQuil
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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