Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
