Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize