I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
