This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize