I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
