Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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