I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
