i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
