You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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