shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
