if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
