I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
