I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
