Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
