i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize