I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
