absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
smell my finger.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
