I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if only i could text you this smell
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
