pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
