I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
where am i from again
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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