Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
and she was petting her beer can
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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