There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
