I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize