You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
two words: eviction party
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
