every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she pinky promised me she was 18
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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