Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
