i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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