Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
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