i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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