go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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