a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
soo... how was my night?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
