What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
