I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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