Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
