Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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