Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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