every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I need to stop coming to work sober
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
